“I have been taught accommodation.
“I have been taught to filter.
“I want to say, we come from difference… you [my brother] have been taught to grow out; I have been taught to grow in.
“I learned to absorb.
“…I never meant to replicate her [my mother] but you spend enough time sitting across from someone and you pick up their habits. That’s why women in my family have been shrinking for decades.
“We all learned it from each other…
“Watching the struggle I either mimic or hate her and I don’t want to do either anymore..
“I asked five questions in genetics class today, and all of them started with the word “sorry”.
“A circular obsession I never wanted but inheritance is accidental.”
Excerpts that resonate with me.
I once disagreed vehemently with someone and cited (possibly ranted off) many valid reasons supporting my point of view and then, as I was taught, apologized for it. He immediately stopped me and told me not to apologize for having a dissenting point of view, particularly when I had reasons to back it up.
I’ve learned to reign in my rants as well as my propensity for apologizing since then. I still occasionally slip and apologize for things that are not my fault, but this is very much a work in progress. The ranting has definitely been toned down since I felt what it was like to be on the other side of a rant: bulldozed.