I hadn’t thought much about this until I recently stumbled across an article in the NY Times about Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding.
To summarize, the author of the piece comments on the reaction of his “single, 23, intellectually adventurous and sure of herself” female friend when he conversationally mentions that Prince William has decided not to wear a wedding band post-wedding ceremony. He then quotes from bloggers who initially shared his friend’s strong, negative reaction before changing their minds upon thinking about the meaning of the wedding band and finishes with a segment on engagement rings.
It got me thinking. I have a double standard. I wouldn’t bat an eye if my male friends or my female friends’ husbands decided not to wear a wedding band, but if I ever get married (and that is a big IF, even though I do want children one day), I don’t mind if my husband didn’t wear his wedding band every single day, but I would like to see him with a band on his finger – particularly if he is not prone to wearing accessories. Upon further inspection, I realized that it is an ownership thing for me. I definitely would understand if he didn’t wear his band every day – I have qualms myself about the hygiene of this practice – but I want to see a damn ring on his finger for at least a few days. It’s so that I can visually mark this man as mine. I don’t care if he is ringless in front of other people (unless it’s purposefully in the company of a specific girl, every single time) but that’s because I usually don’t care very much about what other people think. Since the difference is internal for me, then, I questioned why a wedding band at all.
I certainly hope he would not expect me to wear mine on a daily basis. The career that I plan to pursue would not be amenable to wearing pretty little accessories. I thought that it’d be nice if we would wear it on special occasions, like our anniversary, but that is illogical. Consider this: we’re going to purchase two expensive but simply cut rings to wear one day out of a whole year for as long as our marriage lasts. Sounds pretty stupid, doesn’t it?